Day 19 & 20 – Tak Nak Merokok

Left 1 more day and sorry about me not blogging on this as I am very upset about some stuff.

Here is a quick look on my reading.

Day 16 / 17 / 18 – Tak Nak Merokok

Firstly I would like to apologize for not blogging about what happen on Day 16 / 17 /18. I promise you after what I have to explain over here. You will understand why.

Before I start telling you about what happen. Here is 3 pictures snapshot cramp into 1 on my Smokerlyzer to show I’m not cheating in any sorts.

These past 3 days were really tough on me. Seriously it would be a wonder how I actually managed to get through on day 17 itself having my dad over in the house but on day 16 is where I was having really bad chest pains and I’ve decided to see a cardiologist in order to see the old tinker is having any problems and required to be fix in any sorts. It was a long wait in the hospital and after a series of checking and all from the doctor. He concluded that the chest pains is not due to my heart but more of muscle soreness due to exercising on body pump on last Monday. Given medication and day off to rest. I pretty much slept and slept and slept till the next day.

Saturday was Deepavali, a holiday festival in Malaysia which I do celebrate as my sister in law is a hindu. Dad was coming down to visit and that pretty much put a lot of pressure on me. Almost everything he said, could or would be a trigger to smoking. Heck… He even ridicule me on not smoking. The reason I started smoking was because of him. The pressure and headaches I went through as kid to deal a father like him was impossible. Its amazing how I turn out like this as I always assume I would be in some gangster community selling dvd(s) to foodcourt and getting into big fights with other gangs and a occasional chilled nights in a cell in a police station.

Day 18 was okay. I don’t really think about smoking unless its a big trigger to the past. I learn that if you really have cravings for smoking. I take really deep breaths and concertrate and focus only on my breathing and nothing else. It helps to take your mind of ciggarettes and you feel better after like 5 minutes of intense breathing sensation.

That pretty much concludes my Day 16 / 17 /18 of not smoking…

Day 15 – Tak Nak Merokok

The chest pains has not subside yet and it feels extremely tight. I’m heading to the clinic to seek medical attention after work at 1am.

Here are my Day 15 results…

Day 14 – Tak Nak Merokok

CHEST PAINS!!! CHEST PAINS!!! CHEST PAIN!!!

Yesterday after body pump, I started feeling a little tightness on my left side chest. I ignored it and treated it as a muscle soreness. Little did I know as the next day progresses, the chest pains was becoming slightly more of apparent. As the day progresses further, I’ve been receiving little fork stabbing feeling as you would get from your girlfriend when you said something wrong on the dinner table.

I started to get worried. I goggled…  and got sidetracked on other things I goggled for but got a few answers but not the satisfactory answers on why or what causes it to happen. .

I don’t want to just DIE like that after quitting smoking. Imagine how your friends would say…

He was OK when he was smoking until he stop smoking that took his death…

Seriously… That is one pathetic way to DIE man!

I decided not to take chances and call the Infoline Berhenti Merokok – 03 8883 – 4400 and ask a little bit of guidance…

Here is what I got from them. This sweet Cik Fatimah (Not Her Name Ya!) said this.

1. Tightness in the chest is common as it is created by the body’s need for nicotine.
2. Part of the recovery process on the lung’s attempt to remove mucus and tar.
3. Deep breathing and relaxation techniques.
4. Be patient; wait it out! Your body wants to return to normal.

Also this sweet Cik Fatimah (Not Her Name Ya!) said this too…

This is the time where the body tries to fool you to start smoking in order to stop those pains. What you need to know is that the body is in recovery to reverse whatever damages that has been done earlier due to smoking. This is the time to be strong and not give in to nicotine smoking. The pain is only temporary and it will go away but if the pain does not go away after a few days, to see a doctor to have it checked out.

Somehow I seem to find it scary as I’ve yet to see a doctor about this. The pain not only has it been on the left side but have somehow spread a little further from the left to the center of my chest. Breathing seems to be a little harder as compared to earlier. I’m noticing that I am taking heavy deep breaths and it hurts somehow and my chest seems more tighter as it was before. Its too late now to be calling up friends for a second opinion and its just not right thing to do for now as they are sleeping. So I think I’ll head to bed first and try to sleep it off and hopefully the chest will lighten up by tomorrow.

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Well… I managed to swing by Day 14 without a cardiac arrest yet… So here is my result for Day 14…

Day 13 – Tak Nak Merokok

LIKE SERIOUSLY!!! WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS LEAVE FRESH PACKED CIGARETTES AROUND WHEN YOU ARE NOT SMOKING!!!

That’s just cruel I tell you… So cruel… They leave it there just to tempt you and when you were a smoker and you are looking just one stick and there is none for grabs…

Why do these people love to torment people like us?

One more thing… What is up with these people in trying to tempt you back into smoking? Is it their god given right to test our spirits to see if we can overcome such ordeals?

We(as in all ex-smokers united) are certainly trying to quit smoking and certainly yes we don’t need you to remind us over and over again what we are capable of doing after lighting that one cigarette.

So thank you very much for your kind offerings. So go offer to someone who just can’t quit smoking. We(as in all ex-smokers united) know you are too weak to just quit like that unless you want to prove us wrong eh? 

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Day 13 is over and here are the results… See it to believe it…

Day 12 – Tak Nak Merokok

Day 12 is where I nearly lost all sense of control of what I tried to accomplish from the past 11 days.

I felt miserable the whole entire day because I know that I am too weak to be able to succumb to something as low as that, risking whatever hard efforts I put and people around me and it makes even harder not to have the courage to tell the people that are concerned of me that I nearly had a relapsed in smoking.

You know what?

“Nicotine is seriously an evil thing, you don’t control it, it controls you and somehow you can be totally unaware of it till its too late.”

Smokers are no different then a drug addict… I should be sent to rehab center rather then sitting at home or going to work and trying to be like a normal person when seriously I am clearly not.

Smokerlyzer test result for Day 12

Day 11 – Tak Nak Merokok

I always get this question from people.

“Why do you smoke?”

I would normally reply and sometimes with a little anger at times,

“Because I like smoking.”

While I may say this in all honesty, But I know that its a very misleading statement, What I should have say was,

I’m having my nicotine fix , a drug, which I thought could help me to overcome my everyday life problems.

I always believe that smoking cigarettes

1. always kept me calm.
2. made me energetic.
3. allowed me to have fun and lead a more socially active lifestyles.
4. enhance my abilities to be more vibrant and active members of society.

but for the fact is…

1. it was actually increasing my stress levels, or more accurately, my reactions to stress
2. it was robbing my endurance and energy.
3. it was actually impairing and limiting my ability to engage in many activities and to develop new relationships.
4. it was causing me to resort to many antisocial behaviors.

When you are addicted to something, you somehow don’t tend to see the real picture…

Its called living in denial…

It was for me until I was off from cigarettes that made me realized that I could had overcome such problems without smoking, and in most cases I managed to do it more effectively than I would as a smoker.

Once you just had quit from smoking, only then you would realized just how much a source of “stress dependence” which nicotine has created for you.

To anyone who is reading… Please learn to quit now… Your life may suck for the 3 days after quitting but I can promising you an abundance of relief after that. Trust me on that!

My day 11 Smokerlyzer reading results…

Day 10 – Tak Nak Merokok

Sorry about the late posting as I’ve been really busy with work. Here is my check in for Day 10’s reading on the smokerlyzer.

Will post more on my next blog post… promise…

Day 9 – Tak Nak Merokok

Do you know you could identify a smoker by his face?

I never really ponder much about it until I came to work and a fellow workmate of mine happen to compliment how my face skin was pretty much glowing compare to previous events in meeting her. She asked if I stop smoking, I asked how she knew and she said this…

Because you use to have a smoker face.

To identify a smoker face, you can identify them by these criteria;

1. Lines or wrinkles on the face, typically radiating at right angles from the upper and lower lips or corners of the eyes, deeplines on the cheeks, or numerous shallow lines on the cheeks and lower jaw.
2. A subtle gauntness of the facial features with prominence of the underlying bony contours. Fully developed this change gives the face and ‘atherosclerotic’ (sic. A bit like choked up blood vessels) look; lesser changes show as slight sinking of the cheeks. In some cases these changes are associated with a leathery, worn, or rugged appearance.
3. An atrophic, slightly pigmented grey appearance of the skin
4. A plethoric, slightly orange, purple and red complexion different from the purply blue colour of cyanosis or the bloated appearance associated with the pseudo-Cushing’s changes of alcoholism”

Here is how a picture of a smoker face would like…

So imagine that last 9 days ago. I used to be looking something similar to that. Oh well.. All the more reasons to quit smoking for the better…

Here is my check in for Day 9′s reading on the smokerlyzer.

Another day has zoomed passed. Quite a very stressful day and my cravings was pretty much hitting an all time high. My teeth is so sore and abuse from all the massive chewing.  So yeah! I’m glad Day 9 is over and I’m looking forward for the days to be over as the days go by as I know my cravings will slowly subside together with it.

That concludes my Day 9 mini adventures

Day 8 – Tak Nak Merokok

Someone in the office wanted to quit smoking and was very impressed on how I am accepting the nicotine gum as a way to substitute my cravings for cigarettes.  I let him try the Nicorette gums and he spat it out after a few minutes of chewing. This was his remarks which I found absolutely funny besides Gary Lim.

The Nicorette gums are horrible. Its like getting a Vampire to chew garlic.

Here is my reading for Day 8 itself.

Yup! Still number 1. Trying my best in keeping all those cravings to the minimum. Hopefully by the 21 days are over, I won’t be having those cravings and not being chewing gums. My teeth and jaw are sore from all the chewing.

Those gums are not soft and easy to chew for crying out loud.

I seem to find a habit of taking 2 Nicorette gums in one go. I feel its much more softer and easier to chew compare eating one gum. I normally just continue to chew to the extend I feel a vomiting flavor seem to be forming in my mouth and then I would spat it out otherwise I would continue to chew to the extend I get sick of it. LOL!

I seem to be very excited when I see chocolates and the need to eat it but am currently putting my best in avoiding those and try to eat more fruits and drink loads of water in order to curb those unnecessary calories. So yes, its true that once you stop smoking, your appetite would increase and you will always feel the need to munch something.

My best advice is to watch what you eat. Eat when you are hungry. I always tend to test myself if I am hungry by drinking 1 liter of water first. If I start feeling hungry, I would then go hunt for food.

And that pretty much concludes on what I have to say about Day 8