Day 16 / 17 / 18 – Tak Nak Merokok

Firstly I would like to apologize for not blogging about what happen on Day 16 / 17 /18. I promise you after what I have to explain over here. You will understand why.

Before I start telling you about what happen. Here is 3 pictures snapshot cramp into 1 on my Smokerlyzer to show I’m not cheating in any sorts.

These past 3 days were really tough on me. Seriously it would be a wonder how I actually managed to get through on day 17 itself having my dad over in the house but on day 16 is where I was having really bad chest pains and I’ve decided to see a cardiologist in order to see the old tinker is having any problems and required to be fix in any sorts. It was a long wait in the hospital and after a series of checking and all from the doctor. He concluded that the chest pains is not due to my heart but more of muscle soreness due to exercising on body pump on last Monday. Given medication and day off to rest. I pretty much slept and slept and slept till the next day.

Saturday was Deepavali, a holiday festival in Malaysia which I do celebrate as my sister in law is a hindu. Dad was coming down to visit and that pretty much put a lot of pressure on me. Almost everything he said, could or would be a trigger to smoking. Heck… He even ridicule me on not smoking. The reason I started smoking was because of him. The pressure and headaches I went through as kid to deal a father like him was impossible. Its amazing how I turn out like this as I always assume I would be in some gangster community selling dvd(s) to foodcourt and getting into big fights with other gangs and a occasional chilled nights in a cell in a police station.

Day 18 was okay. I don’t really think about smoking unless its a big trigger to the past. I learn that if you really have cravings for smoking. I take really deep breaths and concertrate and focus only on my breathing and nothing else. It helps to take your mind of ciggarettes and you feel better after like 5 minutes of intense breathing sensation.

That pretty much concludes my Day 16 / 17 /18 of not smoking…